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5.5 Optional Comments or Questions to the Instructor:

< If you have no comments or questions, delete 5.5.>

References

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Hedgpeth, D. (2020). Compassionate Service [PPT-5a PowerPoint slides].

Moodle@Amberton. http://moodle.amberton.edu/login/index.php

http://moodle.amberton.edu/login/index.php

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Self-Evaluation: Assessing Relational Success by Dr. Hedgpeth

The questions below are a few samples to help define the numbered title/topic.
Highlight questions from which you wish to design your SMART Goals. Honestly
assess each title/topic by using a scale of 1-10, with ten being the highest rating.
Adapt your answers based on the type of relationship you are considering.
Pre-Test: How well are you doing in each area during Week 1 of the course?
Goal: What do you want as a realistic score? Consider throughout the course,
how you get from where you are to where you want to be? How would your
significant other answer for you? If you are not sure, and if you dare, please ask.
Post-Test: What is your result in each area after course awareness/application?
The Post-test will be completed during Week 8. Add columns for comparisons.

Estimate overall performance for each category: PRE-TEST/GOAL/POST-TEST

1. Personal Insights? ________/______/___________

–Do you see yourself as others see you?
–Do you understand when and why you are sometimes ineffective with others?
–Do you welcome and listen to constructive criticism, in order to improve self?
–Do you push others away because of some self-insecurity?
–Do you give to others as much or more as you receive?
–Do you allow yourself to unconditionally love and to likewise be loved in a
healthy way?

2. Emotional-Physical-Mental Understanding? ________/_____/___________

–Do you understand your other’s emotional–physical preferences for love and
closeness, and if not have you asked?
–Do you analyze your contribution to emotional upsets, and work to find patient
and productive ways to do better (Examples: activities, money, children, etc.)?
–How well does your way of emotional connection build mutual self-esteem with
your close other, and generate love for and love from your other/family/friends?
–Do you spend quality time with others to emotionally-physically-mentally
connect, appropriate to degree of your relationship?
–Do you verbally express gratitude and actively show appreciation for what
others do for you?

3. Relational Truth? ________/_____/___________

–Do others have good reason to distant from you?
–Do you give due time, respect, and attention to your primary relationship(s) to
the same degree of your stated priority or deep felt intent?
–Do the most significant others in your life have unmet needs due to your neglect
or other activities, and are you seriously working to change that?

2

–Have you invited your closest others to tell you how they feel that your
relationship could be improved, while you listened without interruption or
rejection?
–Do you treat others like the way you want to be treated?
–Do you consider other’s preferences and give accordingly?

4. Positive Support? ________/_____/___________

–Do you listen with intent to understand and act according to be of help?
–As you need patience, praise, and appreciation, do you build mutual
togetherness by likewise (unconditionally but honestly and kindly) giving those
same needs to others?
–Do you accept and support freedom and power to others to differently develop
their own fulfillment in their own way?
–Do you help promote other’s dreams and potentials with an attitude of
encouragement and support?

5. Compassionate Service? ________/_____/___________

–Are you patient with common irritations and distractions from close others?
–Do you practice unconditional compassion and service even with making a
sacrifice of what you had rather do?
–Are you a help, not a hindrance, to other’s personal challenges/weaknesses?
–Do you freely (and reasonably) give to others what they want, need, and prefer,
or do you give what you like and prefer?

6. Faith and Spiritual Strength to Overcome? ________/_____/___________

–Are you as close to God as you want and need to be and how may that improve?
–Do you put God first, next to your close other(s), and then all else?
–Are you spiritually centered and faithfully strengthened to overcome both the
inner struggles and the outer oppositions, and to appreciate all blessings?
–Do you strive to master your selfish reactions, by opening your heart and mind
to a healthier, more peaceful, and higher standard of conduct?
–Are you helping others and self to grow spiritually and in faith by example in
what you think, say, and do?
–Do you walk your talk by showing love and honor to God, self, and your
other/family/friends in a way you hope or want others to be?

7. Devoted Consideration? ________/_____/___________

–Do you apply the golden rule for the fairness, value, and benefit for others?
–Are you trustworthy by keeping your promises and timely commitments?
–Are you trusting by letting go of control/domination over others?
–Do you keep in mind that others mature and change at different rates than you
do, and that naturally other’s talents, abilities, and preferences may likewise
normally vary?

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–Are you patient and respectful of other’s differences?

8. Respectful Communication? ________/_____/___________

–Do you wisely communicate with a loving attitude and with sincere listening?
–Are you clear in what you think (left-brained) and honest in what you feel (right-
brained), by focusing on the problem rather than attacking the person?
–Do you help heal past hurts and grievances with true empathy, respectful
words, and loving tones, beginning by sincerely saying and/or meaning, “I was
wrong,” “I am sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “I love/care for you,” & “I thank you”?
–Do you strive to understand, accept, and work to harmonize with other’s
different personality styles and dissimilar ways of communication?

9. Loving Balance? ________/_____/___________

–Are you willing to forgive as you want to be forgiven, and what if you don’t?
–If your closest others behaved just like you, would you want to be around them?
–Do you constantly evaluate where you are and determine where you want to be?
–Do you solicit other’s strengths and input to build strong mutual goals?
–Do you take time to relax and focus solely on your closest other?
–Do you take time to get away from your routine and have fun together?
–Do you work to improve your relationships to positively grow together?
–With all things considered, do you have a harmonious, loving, godly, and
healthy balance in your relationship, along with some quality me-time?

10. Healthy Lifestyle for Now and the Future? ________/_____/___________

–Do your personal habits enhance your wellbeing and the wellbeing of others?
–Do you reminisce happy and fun moments together?
–Do you plan quality time to play, laugh, and share intimate friendship, plus
allow, encourage, and help your other/family/friends to be happy?
–Do you care for yourself in a healthy and loving way?
–Do you seek to find new ways to improve self?
–Do you observe and discover ways to uplift, enrich, help your family or close
others find shared interests, and to create a feeling of meaningful fulfillment?
–If things continue as is, is that a good thing?
–Are you building today, the future you want for close others and self?

PRE-TEST/GOAL/POST-TEST

Add the Columns for Total Scores: ________/_____/____________

100-Yeah right! 90s-Excellent; 80s-Good; 70s-Fair; 60s. Below 60- Consider Help! .
(Improve your results by applying text teachings through your SMART goals.)

© Dr. David Hedgpeth, 2020